Blueberry Vanilla "Frozen Yogurt" Recipe

Normally, I would never recommend that you make any recipe that has quotation marks in the title. That kind of mystery is not something I want in my food. Bear with me, though; I'm not calling this "frozen yogurt" because I'm playing an elaborate prank, wherein I entice you to consume something that appears to be frozen yogurt, but is actually, like, frozen sunscreen with food coloring in it. I'm calling it "frozen yogurt" because the end result is a nearly frozen texture that closely resembles soft serve frozen yogurt, and could very easily become even more frozen yogurt-like with a couple extra steps. So, the quotation marks are really just a shortcut to a catchier title. Although, maybe I should look into becoming a professional prank artist because that sunscreen thing is kind of genius.

Artfully arranged insect eggs. JK, it's blueberries! But if you didn't know that, it'd look creepy, right?

The only thing that really matters is that this dessert tastes gooooood. It's cold, it's fruity, it's creamy - it's the perfect warm weather snack, and from what I know, warm weather is coming on fast and snacks are always in demand. No reason not to get this under your belt early.

INGREDIENTS

3 Cups Frozen Blueberries

2 Cups Yogurt {I used vanilla, feel free to use plain/regular/Greek/whatever}

Splash of Vanilla Extract

Sugar {to taste, optional if you like it a little sweeter}

HOW TO MAKE IT

Okay, prepare for the most grueling kitchen session of your life! Just kidding - there is only one real step here: put the ingredients in a blender or food processor and blend or process.

From geek to chic.

When you're done, you'll have a thick, mostly frozen dessert much like this:

You can eat this in a few different ways:

a) Just go to town with a spoon right away. Completely reasonable - no judgement.

b) Pop it into the freezer for a couple of hours to get a firmer and icier result.

c) Put the mixture into an ice cream maker to get a more traditional frozen yogurt texture.

The texture ended up kind of like that of a very thick milkshake, but when frozen turned more solid. I've also made this with frozen raspberries and got a much thicker result so play around. Frozen pineapple would be amazing! Use coconut yogurt! Sorry, I don't mean to tell you what to do, but I'm going to do that now. You probably don't want to miss out, though.

Do you have an ice cream maker? Were you suspicious of the quotation marks in this recipe's title? What's you favorite summer dessert, homemade or not?

Watermelon & Coconut Water Cooler

I'm currently drowning in a refrigerator full of farm fresh produce courtesy of my brother, a local farmer. I know, there are much worse things. I am very appreciative to have access to delicious, brightly-colored edibles that I know were grown sans-chemicals a few towns away by the very same guy who used to delight in destroying my beloved Jonathan Taylor Thomas posters. The only hitch is finding enough ways to use up everything before it goes bad, which is why I'm on day five of inventive cucumber salads (so far a basic feta and balsamic mix is the winner).

I'm trying lots of new things, so I wanted to create a simple watermelon drink with stuff I had on hand. I hesitate to call this a "recipe" because it's basically a drawn out set of instructions telling you to put a few things in a blender and push a button, but bear with me, okay?

WHAT YOU NEED

Watermelon  //  Coconut Water  //  Lime Juice  //  Ice  //  Blender

HOW TO MAKE IT

Cube the watermelon and add about 3 cups of it to your blender.

Honestly, when was the last time you saw black seeds in a watermelon?! Pretty much everything from the grocery store has been modified to lose unsightly elements like these, which is really weird to think about.

Add about 1 cup of coconut water to the blender. FYI, Trader Joe's now makes their own coconut water which is pretty delish and pretty cheap, at least in the world of coconut water, which means it's still kind of expensive for the amount you get (mine was $2.99 for 33 oz/1L).

Add a healthy squeeze of lime juice, depending on how much you like, which in my case is QUITE A BIT, THANK YOU. You can obviously also use a real lime which is the better option, but alas I was uncharacteristically lime-less this afternoon. I'm working through it.

Add the ice and blend, baby, blend! 

Enjoy with a color coordinated straw and a sliced watermelon wedge, which is what everyone does naturally and definitely not just because they're taking pictures of their drinks to put on the internet.

It even looks cheerful perched atop my ancient radiator!

The flavor is very distinctly watermelon, but the coconut water is pronounced, as well. That's great unless you don't like coconut water, which it seems plenty of people do not. Well, I do, but if you aren't feeling it, sub in fruit juice or even just more watermelon.

What blender drinks are you mixing lately? Are you still into summer drinks like these or are you like everyone else on my Facebook feed who is losing their minds over the reintroduction of pumpkin drinks already? Doesn't it seem kind of fun to drink a watermelon? (p.s. it is!)

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How to Make Chia Fresca

Are you guys into chia seeds? They seem to be the health food darling of 2013 (see you on the way down, quinoa!) and so they're getting a lot of hype lately. They're actually super healthy and have a ton of great things in their tiny little selves, like fiber, omega 3s, protein and probably snippets of unicorn tails and leprechaun beards (friendly leprechauns only, of course) since they're so special. 

I want to eat them. I do. Yes, they are the same chia seeds that are used for Chia Pets. Yes, that makes it harder to eat them. That's not just me, right? I generally go for food that isn't otherwise used as decorative hair on a Scooby Doo knick-knack. I just have a thing about it. I also know that people were eating chia seeds way before the Chia Pets people invented "The Pottery That Grows!" - as if literally anyone was asking for that. I've tried chia pudding which tastes okay, but also looks like the lumpy, wet trail a swamp creature might leave behind.

So now I'm all about Chia Fresca, a refreshing, summery drink that allows me to get a serving of chia seeds down my throat without having to think about it. I actually enjoy them now! You should probably make this too:

WHAT YOU NEED

Chia Seeds  //  Sweetener (optional)  //  Lemon or Lime Juice  //  Water  //  Container with a Lid

HOW TO MAKE IT

Put 1.5 teaspoons of chia seeds in your container.

Add 12 oz. of cold water to the container. 

Let the chia seeds sit in the water for about 10 minutes. This lets them absorb the water and plump up in an interesting and/or creepy fashion, depending on your perspective.

Put the lid on your container and shake it up well. The chia seeds have a tendency to clump and either sit on the bottom or rise to the top. You want them to be evenly distributed so it's easier to drink.

You'll see at this point that soaking has caused the chia seeds to grow a gelatinous outer layer. Yum! JK, that's totally gross, but it will help you drink them without getting the chia seeds stuck in your throat. This is what allows them to easily slide through a straw and into your body to give you nutrients without you ever having to think about the actual seeds themselves. If you are "a normal" this might not matter for you, but I need all the help I can get to ingest things that look weird to me.

PRO TIP: Try NOT to think about how much this looks like tadpoles!

Take the lid off and add about 1 tablespoon of lime juice.

Next, add sweetener to taste. I used about a teaspoon.

Just stir it around, add some ice cubes and sip away! Enjoy your polka dotted water. This is also supposed to be a natural energy drink, but it didn't do anything for me in that regard. I'm difficult, though.

Do you like chia seeds? Would you drink water filled with them? I promise it's not as weird as it looks or sounds. And it's certainly not as weird as this. 

xoxo,
Michelle